Gathering Moss

Berlin was a whirlwind. Well, more like the wind was whirling. The first thing I noticed in Berlin was the raised subway tracks. I guess it's not actually the subway if it's raised but, anyway, that's what I noticed. Next was the diveristy of the people. When I say diversity I don't particularly mean ethnically. Diversity in the sense that there is such a wide array of clothes, hairstyles, lifestyles, actually just about anything that can be different was. I imagine this sense of individuality flourised in the years following the collapse of the wall. With a new realized freedom people just went for it and didn't allow the shackles of conformity weigh them down any longer. Conversely, in Santa Barbara girls watch whats next on the tube to see what they should wear. Boys, without exception, follow the ebbs and flows of trend. Personally, when people do the same thing I don't believe this to be freedom, it's actually conformity. What do I need to fit in? is a common thought amongst youth. I am not innocent of having had this same ideology. I was raised in Southern California, possibly the most superficial place in the States. But being out here, in particular Berlin, I've noticed that people act, dress, and live the way that want to. Just an opening thought.
I'm back in Dresden. Today the weather is wonderful, easily the best of November. It's a mild 14 degrees celcius. Dotting a clear blue sky are a few coasting clouds floating few and far between. The River Elbe, serenly slicing Dresing in half, flows with a calmness that maskes the dangers it's currents posess. I'm a fan of the city BUT I'm a bit tired of the routine out here.
Truth is I find it hard to connect with Germans. There's one or two that I can hang out with but for the most part it's hard to communicate. It's not the language, they speak English great. Truthfully I feel looked down upon. Not pitied, but unimportant. I feel that it's not the cultural differnces as much as it's that I'm American. People demonize the States, at times rightfully so, and they prech how the US is unfair, and ignorant. But when someone judges me not based on who I am but where I'm from that's unfair, ignorant and hypocritical.
I'm tired of politics. Every person I meet who finds out I'm American, wants to talk about the same things. How did Bush get re-elected? who will run for president in 2008? what is the plan for Iraq? Then there's the war for oil shouters who are unwilling to listening to any other points of view, there's a common conclusion that Bush is a facsist, and all the 9/11-government-conspiracy theorists "informing" you of tales as tall as the towers themselves. I've heard every theory that "informed kids" read on a web site that their friends showed them and swore "it was the truth."

The truth is, at times, I talk politics and I know I'm well informed, especially having not spent much time on US soil lately. I even feel somewhat obligated to assure people that not all of us want war, more guns, bigger walls, and world domination. But, come on folks, I'm just travelling like the rest of you. I guess maybe I'm just a bit fatigued. I'm gonna find something, some direction and I'm gonna devote time and energy into. I can't keep going through the same routine. It gets old.

Reading: "Cafe Europa" A book about living in Eastern Europe after the fall of the USSR
Listening to: Radiohead "Hail to the Theif"
Anticipating: Seeing my brother in Paris
Surprised By: The 49ers' 4-5 record. Go Niners!
Hoping For: Another beautiful day tomorrow.
peace and love,
T.J. Elwell